Three Questions Technique
Useful for: Info Gathering, Power Word Detection
Wonderful for: Salespeople, People in Relationships

Background

The success of every exercise and technique in NLP that involves two way verbal communication hinges on our ability to listen effectively. We may learn several techniques to the point of technical perfection, but we will always fall short of desired results if our fundamental information we think we’ve gathered is flawed, wrong or simply not enough.

In real life proper listening is a difficult skill for anyone to master. It requires emotional strength and great discipline. The simple desire to inject one’s own ideas and feedback or in the case of an NLP practitioner, the excitement of employing a cool new strategy may cause one to jump in too quickly without enough information and rapport. The Three Question Technique helps the NLP practitioner easily develop discipline in listening in a non-stressful, easy way.

Procedure

It is very simple. As a salesperson or someone in a relationship we want to appear as natural and comfortable as possible while we covertly gather information and then use NLP. It is not natural in a real life conversation to employ NLP without gathering sufficient information but at the same time it is not possible to sit down and take notes on paper while asking someone several questions at a time. Neither of these awkward scenarios allows for rapport to develop.

Instead let’s try the Three Questions Technique. Begin by asking your subject three consecutive questions relevant to the purpose/goal of your communication. Three in a row. Throughout the conversation, for every few statements you make, ask three follow up questions. Three is not too much or too little. This will ensure a steady stream of information gathering which never really should end during an intervention. It will keep you on track and focused. You will get feedback on how you are progressing and how strong (or weak) your rapport is. You will avoid inadvertently going off track, losing rapport or getting too caught up in your own experience of what’s happening. Anyone can remember the Rule of 3. The simplicity of the Three Questions Technique is exactly why it is so helpful to the NLPer as a supportive tool towards employing other NLP techniques.