Life is a grand and wonderful game. Everyone has a definite set of rules to play it. You either win or lose, you become a success or are defeated. Wait! There are a great deal of "gray" areas in life. Haven't you ever noticed that this age-old adage is true: One man's meat is another man's poison? Why do identical events or identical products work so well on one person and so horribly for another? Most importantly, how do you respond to what life gives you?

Our values and rules in life create that difference. These rules cause us to individualize our perceptions on common stimuli. One example I can share with you is two sisters I know. One is a teetotaler, and the other is an excessive drinker. I asked the teetotaler why she never drank. "Because my father did," she replied. I then asked the other sister why she drank. "Because my father did," was her answer. It is our experiences, and our reaction to our upbringing, that create the rules we live by.

Our ability to be creatively flexible in any situation is a critical survival key for our future existence. While the catchword "superfluidity" may be new to our generation, its concept is not. The benefits of superfluidity with rules can be easily documented with salespeople. If one salesperson only has five sales techniques and another has fifteen, then the latter possesses the greater opportunity to sell.

Examine Your Rules

Rules are a part of your existence; they are more than routines. Rules incorporate your values into daily events. A "broken" rule can stop you in your tracks. I recently counseled a woman who constantly got excited by new products and began new projects-but never finished them. The new business would just get set aside. We examined her personal rules criteria for implementing even one of these businesses. We discovered that one of her key rules was that her husband needed to emotionally support her in a project. He wasn't willing to do this-he feared that she would leave him if she became successful. Her husband really wanted her dependent on him. Until this issue was resolved, she would just stay a housewife, even though this was boring to her. With help, she reassessed the rules and changed them. Then she was able to build her multilevel company.

Revise Your Rules

Question the rules you have: What are the criteria you need to have success? Where did you get these rules? Are these rules helping you achieve your goals, or hindering your progress?

Most people don't examine their personal rules. Rules have often been taught to us by our parents, teachers, or our peers. These are impressed on us early in our upbringing. What was a good rule several years ago may not be a good rule today. We have new technologies that broaden the ways to achieve goals. Upgrade your rigid rules to use those technologies to your greatest advantage! Also people oftentimes have conflicts within their rule system. This creates havoc for those who want to have a positive relationship with them. It also creates inner conflicts that can have a detrimental effect on their ability to make decisions, adhere to plans, and achieve desired goals. By examining and clarifying your inner rules, you will create more peace of mind by eliminating mental conflicts.

Rules to Create Freedom as Well as Restriction

With traffic rules, we can drive down the streets at high rates of speed and within inches of other traffic. We trust that everyone will go by the regulations and not cross the double yellow line. With these rules, one can drive all over town, the country and even the world in relative safety. Without them, it would be disastrous. Society rules assist us in setting routines and policies. They facilitate safety in the community. Social's rules come in many different forms and levels. It is a must to understand the logical consequences of the violation of these rules. You can be a rebel, but be willing to pay the price. You can change many social rules by becoming involved with creating or changing government policies. But you must be intelligent about which rules can be modified and which need to be kept in place in a responsible society.

One Last Note About Rules

If you know another's rules, you are at a great advantage. All conflicts arise out of differences in one person's rules as opposed to another's. Always clarify the rules before entering a relationship. This will benefit all parties. If you have a rule that says, "It's sometimes a good idea to tell a white lie, that way you spare another's feelings," and you are working with someone who has a strong rule of "honesty is the best policy," the chances of conflict are great. If you know the other person's rules, you will know how they need you to respond to them. How do you learn the other's rules? Ask! Learn the hierarchy of another person's rules, plus superfluidity to work within their rules, and success is virtually guaranteed. That is how to excel at the game of life!