I had a client w o was having difficulty letting go of an ex-partner in a relationship. During one of her sessions, I had her go through this impromptu exercise:

Imagine that you have a photo album. There are sections in this album. The first section contains pictures of people and events that are very important to you in the present day. The second section contains pictures of people who were important to you, but are not currently involved in your life - they're the ones you think of every now and then - and the 3rd section contains people that you knew at one time, but who you don't really think about at all.

Notice that the 1St section is bright and very realistic. The second section is fading a bit. The colors are washing out and the pictures have lost their shine. The third section is black and white and looks very dull - even a bit far away.

What section are the pictures of "John" in? (She said the 1St). Ok. Go ahead and move "John" to another section. Raise a finger when you have moved the pictures of him. Notice how those pictures have faded. The colors are dull and they seem more distant and fuzzy. Take some time to page through the album to make sure that all the pictures related to "John" have moved appropriately. Raise a finger when you are done.

Good. How has your album changed? Tell me about the pictures now compared with a few minutes ago.

Note: If the pictures have not moved or have not faded, do the exercise again having her describe each step and what is happening as she hears the instructions.

This client later told a group of people at a retreat that I led that she had tried a lot of "stupid" things such as self help books and counselors after the break up and of all the things she tried, her sessions with me were what moved her past the break up. Of course we laughed a lot that I was the best of all the "stupid" things!