Here is technique I came up with that really helps me in situations where I feel inferior, lacking self-confidence, or in a position of “perceived” weakness.

As you know, people tend to feel more comfortable when they are on their “home turf.” It’s always better to hold negotiations in YOUR office as opposed to the other person’s office. Personally, I feel much more comfortable and confident when I am in my comfort zone, in familiar surroundings.

The challenge, of course, is that we cannot always be on our home turf. Often we have to meet people on their turf, or in a neutral environment. The more I thought about this, the more I realized it is totally psychological. Using the power of NLP, you can choose your state by changing your thoughts, inner pictures and inner dialogue and as a result, take your “home turf” with you wherever you go.

This technique, which I call the “Home Turf Swish,” is easy to use and very effective for me. Whenever I meet someone that I feel is intimidating or somehow superior to me, I use this swish to turn the tables in my mind. I want to feel like I’m on my home turf, in my comfort zone. And I want to make myself bigger and more powerful than the person I am facing.

I begin by stepping inside my Circle of Excellence for a quick boost of confidence. Next I imagine the person towering above me. Then I use a quick swish to make that person very small, weak and distant. This part is pretty standard NLP strategy, but the part that helps me the most is when I imagine the person in a situation that is UNCOMFORTABLE for him yet very COMFORTABLE to me.

For example, think of a talent or skill you have mastered and then imagine facing off against the person that is intimidating you. For me, I was a college baseball pitcher, so I have a great deal of confidence in my ability to throw a baseball. Today, if I’m in a business negotiation with a person that seems intimidating…I imagine that person in a baseball uniform, standing at home plate holding a baseball bat. I imagine his knees shaking as I throw a 90 mph fastball at him! This visualization technique puts your adversary in an uncomfortable position of weakness. At the same time, it puts you in a comfortable position of power. It works really well!

In your case, if you were in a business negotiation with a big, fat bully…(haha) maybe a lawyer…in his office or in a courtroom…you might use the “Home Turf” technique by imagining yourself squaring off against this guy in a martial arts battle. Or you might imagine hypnotizing him to bark like a dog!

My wife has found this technique to be very helpful. She is a personal trainer and used to be intimidated by her male clients (especially the men that didn’t really respect a female trainer.) She didn’t want to show her lack of self-confidence, so she uses this “Home turf” technique to gain a mental advantage.

She was a gymnast in college, so whenever she had an intimidating male client, I suggested she imagine competing against that man in gymnastics (her home turf). I told her to imagine him in a leotard with silly music playing in the background. Then imagine him trying to balance himself on the balance beam, or fumbling around on the uneven bars! Then I said, imagine yourself dominating the uneven bars as that man watches in envy.

The bottom line with this technique is to use creative visualization to put yourself in a comfortable, familiar setting while using your special talent. And it’s important to visualize the person who is intimidating you (perhaps your boss) in a setting that is very COMFORTABLE for you, but very UNCOMFORTABLE for him…In a situation where you are using your special knowledge, talent or skills to dominate him!