Whenever you have an argument or fight with your partner (or a friend, family) and you feel very upset and out of control ,the following technique can be used:

1. Make an associated picture of yourself, as you are in that state of anger and frustration, anchor this feeling to any of your hands (lets say the left hand).
2. Make a large dissociated picture of yourself and imagine and recall the times that your partner was so loving to you, and pay attention to the accessing cues (V A K O G ). Remember and re-experience how loving and supporting they have been to you at most of the time and how it made you feel and anchor this loving state to your other hand (lets say the right hand).
3. Put the picture of yourself when experiencing this unwanted state of frustration in front of the picture of yourself when you experiencing the desired state of love and understanding. Make the desired loving state picture into a dot. Place the dot in the center of the unwanted picture (state of frustration and anger) and have that dot open up, similar to a camera shutter, so that all you see is the big colorful picture of you at the desired loving state.
4. As the dot is opening, collapse the anchors by bringing your hands together.
5. Repeat this process for 5 times.
6. Test yourself by telling yourself to try to think about that state of frustration, and realize that harder you try it gets harder for you to think about it.