| Schmooze in Business By Sarla Mills Issue Client wants to be able to ‘schmooze’ in business - social settings. He finds that he ‘always’ feels awkward. He wishes that he could socialize with more ease and grace. He believes that people view him as reticent and quiet. He finds that these feelings of inadequacy are exacerbated in these business-social settings. This conclusion is drawn because in normal social settings, he has no problems socializing. He feels pressure in these business-social settings to market and to fit in and these pressures inhibit his ability to socialize. He often notices that he is stuck with the one person that no-one else wants to speak with. There are pockets of silence which is very awkward. He notices that people have a hard time hearing him when there is a lot of background noise. When he tries to project his voice, he finds that he is really straining his voice and by the end of the evening his throat is hoarse. He always feels that he can’t be heard in these settings and that people cut him off. The client wishes to improve and access his confidence in these business-social settings. This will allow him the ability to market himself. Marketing has recently become a very important part of his job as he just made partner in his firm. He must be able to market himself and bring in clients in order to remain viable at his firm. Discussion I pointed out that the client uses many words that generalize his situation – such as ‘always’, people only cut him off (no one else). I also asked the client how he knew for certain how people viewed him. Client realized that he was making assumptions and generalizations. I asked client if there were any instances in his life where he did have the qualities he wanted (confidence, feeling at ease). He said yes – in social settings with his friends; at work; with his colleagues. In fact, client realized that in most situations he was confident. Client stated that resources he already had were his sense of confidence. Client also said he had taken a seminar many years ago on how to project his voice. Client also said he was trying to find a club to join to practice his marketing skills. Treatment & Action Steps Client is visual and kinesthetic. The Circle of Excellence technique was used in which the client visualized a circle with colour (red), movement (like waves), sounds (hum). He was asked to remember an occasion in which he was in a social setting in which he was feeling very confident, was schmoozing well and could be heard easily. He recalled such a memory. This state was then anchored in the circle of excellence. Client was then told to use the circle of excellence just before he was in a business-social setting in which he needed these skills. Client was also told that he could use the circle of excellence in any situation and program any desirable attributes into different circles of excellence. Client noted that he felt better after performing the exercise and realized it only took a few seconds to do. Client also agreed to contact the voice coach from his past and look into lessons for projecting his voice. I also told him that he could look at contacting a singing coach who may be able to give him lessons. Client also stated that his father was trained as a professional singer and may be able to give him some pointers. Client also agreed to become more active in finding a club in which he could join and start to practice his marketing skills – a safe a secure environment that would allow him to grow this aspect of his personality. Client agreed that these goals were achievable and will follow up with me after 2 weeks. |