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Phobia of Relationships With Women By Wanda Mang This client is a young man who had a phobia regarding relationships with women. Troy had a difficult childhood, with parents who were always in conflict, and later divorced. His mother is described as negative and dominating, his father not there for him.
Troy's first relationship with a woman was hurtful. He developed a great fear of being open and trusting; he felt insecure and jealous and had panic attacks when a woman would talk about her past relationships. His physical symptoms of panic were inability to focus, difficulty in breathing, and a twisted feeling in his stomach. He had a girlfriend, but was living in fear of his limiting beliefs. He also had a great determination to make the changes in his life to relieve his fear and anxiety.
First session:
I used the fear and phobia technique in the theater to neutralize the fear, and then 6-step reframing to get in touch with the part in charge of the fear. This part agreed to communicate and gave these positive intentions:
The new behaviors that the part agreed to were:
There were no objecting parts.
I proceeded with hypnosis and did a clearing script, which allowed him to let go of some of his emotional connections to past negative experiences. The session ended with the Swish technique, clicking into a more desirable state with his computer mouse.
Session two:
Troy noticed a considerable difference in one week, reporting he was living more in the moment, relaxing more easily, and using the self-hypnosis I taught him. His girlfriend did talk about a past relationship, but he felt okay and had no panic.
I repeated the phobia technique, and also did the Re-parenting technique and the Circle of Excellence. Troy was very receptive and did very well. I proceeded with hypnosis, and he went deeply into a trance, feeling much more relaxed on the second session. I used a script using anchors on both shoulders, putting the unwanted fears and feelings into a past pleasant positive memory. His response was intense and positive.
Session three:
I asked Troy about his old path and he described it as dark, big stones on the path, and hard to walk, no sounds, heavy feeling in chest, churning stomach, state of confusion, a long hard
path which never seems to end. His new path just up ahead and to the right is easy to walk, smooth, bright, lots of color, trees and flowers. There are sounds of wind and birds, lightness in his chest, stomach feeling good and a sense of ecstasy, feeling a fullness of life. I anchored him in his new path and told him to use these images with his self hypnosis. He then told me he would like to dig deeper, and I decided to use the core transformation from the book of Connie Rae Andreas.
The part we were still working with was the one in charge of the fear of relationships. The part wanted the care, compassion and strength, trust, and the core state of love. Love transformed the fear to no fear at all and the part was the age of 7. It agreed to grow up as I continued to guide him through the process.
Session four:
Troy experienced a strong transformation, so I finished up my time with him using Visual Squash, his young part uniting with his older wiser part, and some Time Line while in hypnosis.
His core state of love moved from his time of conception to the present, and then out into his future. He had the image of blocks of sugar melting in his chest and stomach area just as when warm water hits a sugar cube. Troy uses his self hypnosis every day, and is completely free of panic and fear of relationships with women.
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