The following technique is to improve your listening skill (to be a better listener), and you can change the subject to any subject that you want to improve and you can change your model or coach to any one you like that is appropriate for that subject that you want to improve.

1. Pick a person that you want to model (someone that you respect, someone that you look at him/her as role model, someone who has the skills and abilities that you like to have or whoever you think is sight for you.)

2. Imagine he/she is on stage and teaching you the subject/skill that you want to learn or improve, and you are sitting in front of him and watching and listening to him/ her.

3. Watch him/her very carefully and be sure to notice (see, hear, feel) how comfortable he/she is when talking to you and teaching you the subject.

4. See your model's aura, their life force. Notice all the submodalities of his/her speech/action on stage while he/she is talking to you and coaching you (v,k,a).

5. Listen very carefully while he/she is telling you the following about how to improve your LISTENING SKILL:

   • I am a good listener, I am polite, attentive and positive. My interest in others is bright, alive and enthusiastic and it shows.

   • When someone speaks to me, I always remember this in my mind that THERE IS POSITIVE INTENTION BEHIND ANY BEHAVIOR

   • When someone speaks to me, I always remember this in my mind that PEOPLE SAY AND ACT BASED ON BEST RESOURCES AVAILABLE TO THEM AT THAT TIME.

   • When someone speaks to me, I always remember this in my mind that PEOPLE RESPOND AND ACT BASED ON THEIR MAP OF REALITY, NOT THE REALITY ITSELF.

   • When someone speaks to me to me , I always backtrack what he/she told me to make sure I understand what I was told by saying "let me make sure I understand what you said............."

   • When someone speaks to me, I always listen very carefully, no matter who is speaking to me, I am always attentive to what that person is saying to me.

   • I am precisely a very good listener at home and with the people I love most and I do my best to listen and understand what they say.

   • When someone is speaking to me, I listen very carefully to make sure I understand what the person is telling me first, instead of thinking what I should say next.

   • I listen carefully and make sure I hear everything the speaker is saying and when I listen - I listen instead of looking at listening as waiting my turn to speak.

   • I let the person who is speaking to me know that I am giving my full attention (rapport). The speaker can see in my face and my body the full interest and attention that I am giving to what he/ she is telling me.

   • I listen very carefully to make sure I understand and know the speaker's representation system (a,k,v).

   • When someone speaks to me, I listen for agreement and commonness of thoughts.

   • When someone speaks to me, i make sure to be a very careful listener. I don't listen just to hear I always listen to understand.

   • I also pay special attention to unspoken words, facial expression, and eye movement pattern.

   • I always listen to inner voice and make sure I understand what every PARTS of me tell me, and I look at my PARTS as best friends and best counselors.

   • I make sure I become a better and positive listener everyday, and I enjoy practicing and improving my listening skill everyday and I practice my listening skill with everyone I talk to or listen to, any where I am.

6. After you watched and listened to your model/coach (from A-P above), while you are still sitting, image you are watching yourself standing on stage next to your model/coach and giving exactly the same speech as your model/coach did (as listed above), and you are applying the same submodalities of your model/coach (v,k,a)

7. After you watched and listened to yourself with all submodalities of your mode/coach, (v,k,a), now imagine that you go to the stage and step into your body (associated) and stand next to your model/coach, and thank him for his/her time and speech and tell him/her, let me make sure I understand everything you said, and while he/she is looking at you, read back to him everything that he/she said about that subject/skill (as listed above). Make sure you say it exactly the way that he/she was saying it (v,k,a, and all submodalities).

8. After you finished reading (as listed above), imagine your model/coach is telling you, “You did great, and the more you practice and the better listener you become, the more you enjoy talking to other people and listen to other people, because naturally you are an excellent listener and it shows.”

9. Do this for 7 days or as many days as you think is right for you until you feel very good and comfortable about that subject/skill.

10. To learn or improve a new subject/skill , just change the subject area above and write a new script for the new subject/skill (as listed above), and use a model/coach that is appropriate for the new subject/skill that you want to learn or improve.

Return to Literary Works Home Page           Return to NFNLP Home Page